I have no ‘purpose’, and that’s OK.


So I’m still wandering around the universe looking for a purpose. But I’ve become less focused on the what, and more focused on the why lately. I was halfheartedly applying for jobs that didn’t mean anything to me. I was never surprised when I got rejected from them, it still sucked, but I think actually getting the job would’ve sucked a bit more. In the long run at least.  I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing.

One thing I do know is that I am enjoying the little things more than I used to. Whether I just didn’t take any note of them before, or whether they weren’t something I spent my time on, I just didn’t enjoy them.

I’m finding myself looking for things to enjoy in the day, as opposed to just pushing through it. E.g. I wouldn’t say I love my current job, but there are definitely elements that I love. I don’t want to waste my time doing something I don’t love. But instead of wasting my time, and groaning about my job, I find myself looking for something to enjoy. Whether it’s putting in a little more effort, or even just appreciating that this job allows me to maintain the lifestyle I’m enjoying. Each day it’s different, but each day I’m looking.

I have’t forgotten my degree, and I still get asked when I’m going to get a real job, but I’m just having a bit of down time. And I’m ok with that.

I don’t have a gratitude journal, nor do I have daily affirmations or anything as structured as that. Might be a good idea one-day, but for right now it’s the little shit that matters.


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